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Is 'nesting' right for you?

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Some divorces are very contentious, while others are much less stressful. When children are involved the process is often more difficult. Who gets the house may be one of the issues that becomes more complicated.

There is a growing trend of divorced parents sharing the family home so the children can stay put and don't have to be shuttled back and forth between two locations as they grow up. In these situations the divorced couple might save money by sharing an apartment where each can spend time when it is not their turn to be with the children. While the practice can be good for the children and bank accounts, the approach, referred to as "nesting," can be difficult for the parents.

Among the significant downsides can be the start a new relationship for one or both spouses. Not everyone is comfortable getting involved with someone who is still so close to their ex, even if they have separate lives and do not actually physically spend time alone together. It can be strange to imagine spending time at an apartment that a divorced couple shares.

It can also be hard on one or both spouses if the divorce was not really a mutual decision. Sharing physical space with someone who is still loved and desired can be stressful, and it may not be emotionally healthy for the party that did not want the marriage to end. It can make it harder to let go and move forward, and cause a number of other problems.

It is admirable and understandable why in an effort to put their children first, divorcing parents might try this approach. While some couples might find that it works to rotate in and out of the family house to spend time with children, others may ultimately determine that it would be better to have separate spaces. Working through the matter with a knowledgeable family law attorney can help reach an outcome that works for all involved.

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