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Divorce tips from people who have been through it

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Heading toward divorce? Not interested in asking admittedly biased friends and family for help?

You're not alone. Most people are going through divorce for the first time, so they have no experience and feel out of their depth. Below are a few tips from people who have done it already.

1. Don't seek legal advice from family members.

When it comes to legal advice, be very careful that you get it from a legitimate source. Again, family members are biased. They have your back, and you love them for it, but it may not make them the best source for advice.

2. Remember the impact on your kids.

Don't think that the divorce just affects you and your spouse. If you have kids, the impact on them can be dramatic. Take the time to research it and take steps to help them through.

3. Don't be vague.

Don't just say you want some time with the kids or some of the retirement assets. Spell out exactly what you want and need. Have specific goals and work toward them.

4. Change takes time.

You've been married for 10 years. Don't expect to fall back into your old single life in a week or two. If you have kids, you and your ex won't really be split up in life, even after the marriage is over. The kids connect you. Be prepared to work through your emotions and life changes for months or even years.

Knowing how divorce works up front can help you tremendously, both with your expectations and with the results. Make sure you fully investigate the process, your legal options and the best steps to take.

Source: Pop Sugar, "10 Things I Wish I Knew Before Getting a Divorce," Laura Lifshitz, accessed Sep. 20, 2017

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