Having to work with your ex to raise your children might not be as difficult as you might think it will be. One thing that can help immensely is having a child custody agreement that lays out resolutions to the most common issues you might face. Some people think that parenting plans are akin to cookie-cutter plans, but this isn’t the case.
When you are working out the terms of the parenting plan, you have to think about your child. Don’t think too far into the future. Address what your child needs now and in the immediate future. There isn’t a way that you can make a custody plan that is going to work for a toddler and a teen. You will need to make adjustments to things as you and your ex see that the current way of doing things isn’t working any longer.
Some parents fall into the habit of thinking that they won’t ever have to be flexible in the parenting plan. This is unrealistic. Instead of assuming that things will always be perfect, realize that you will have to bend sometimes and so will your ex. Some events, such as a family member’s wedding or a funeral, can’t be planned based on your custody schedule.
When it is time to determine if a deviation is warranted, think about your child. Will they benefit from the deviation? What will happen if they are forced to abide by the parenting plan schedule? If there isn’t a safety issue and the event is something the child will enjoy or if they will get to spend time with family members and friends, it might be best to let them go have fun.