Co-parenting is nothing more than a fancy name for parents working as a team despite not being in a romantic relationship. Individuals who opt to use this parenting style are truly ready to put their children first. They know that having both parents as active participants can greatly benefit the children.
Just because you make the decision to work with your ex to raise the kids doesn’t mean that there won’t be issues along the way. It is imperative that both adults take the time to re-center when things start to get off track. Not only does this pull the situation back in control, it is a helpful reminder that only the children matter now.
Let go of the past
You can’t have a positive future if you are stuck in the past. You have to let go of the things that led to the end of the relationship. Instead, focus on building a solid parenting relationship with your ex. This can help you to stay focused on them instead of being concerned about what’s going on with the other parent.
Present a united front
You and your ex are now a team, and that means that you show your children a united front. Children will play one adult against the other if they think they can. When you show that you are a team, there is less chance of this happening. Unless the kids’ safety or health is at risk, back up what your ex says. Discuss contentious matters when you are alone so that the kids aren’t privy to these disagreements.
Keep communication respectful
Your communication methods can have a big impact on the co-parenting relationship. Keep things respectful and don’t lash out when you are upset. Remember that some tones of voice and statements can be misconstrued. Work to make everything even-keeled and easily understandable. Be warned that hidden snarky-ness in your comments will be found out so it is best to avoid this.
Work out child-centered traditions
Not all days are going to be the same as they were when you were married. Now that your children have two homes, you might find that holidays and other special days don’t fully involve you. Instead of worrying about these days, find child-centered traditions that can help you to build memories.
For example, if you won’t have the kids for Christmas, maybe you can have fun going to after Christmas sales and buying gifts with them. Instead of worrying about not having them every Saturday, choose a day they are with you to have a special snack and watch a movie, play games or read books together.
You must ensure that the parenting plan you have also puts the children first. This is your roadmap for the upcoming years. It must be based on what your kids need now, and it can be modified in the future if necessary.