One of the hardest things for parents to do is to tell their kids that they are divorcing. This one conversation changes the only life that your children have ever known. You really need to take the time to plan this discussion carefully so that you can ensure that they get the information they need and that you try to assure them that they are going to still have a stable life.
Scheduling the talk is one of the most important things that you are going to do. You shouldn’t do this when your kids have something major going on. This means don’t have the discussion right before finals at school or on a holiday.
Try to have the talk when all the kids and both parents can be there. You don’t want one child to think that they have to hide the divorce from other children. By having everyone together, they are all getting the same information. This also shows them that you and their other parent will continue to work as a team to raise them. If possible, have the parenting plan handy so you can talk about the schedule.
Keep things simple and age-appropriate. They don’t need to have all the details about what led to the divorce. Instead, offer basic information and assure them that they aren’t the reason for the split. No child should ever think that they caused their parents divorce.
As the divorce moves forward, try to keep things amicable. Don’t put them in the middle of the adults by asking them to relay messages. Speak directly to each other and remember that you need a respectful relationship with your ex for the duration of the time the kids are still at home.