When you find out that your ex has filed for divorce, you might be angry and upset. While you do need to address the emotional impacts of the split, you also need to get your plan in place as quickly as possible. There are a few mistakes that can lead to some problems when you are in this situation. This is why it is so important for you to pay close attention to what is going on.
First, remember that you should be honest from the start of the divorce. You also don't need to be too aggressive. There is a difference between standing up for yourself and just being difficult. You might feel the need to protect yourself, but the way to do this is by setting up your plan for what you are going to fight for in the legal proceedings. Don't try to go at it directly with your ex from the moment you find out about the end of the marriage.
Second, remember that your divorce terms are going to be based on what is equitable, not necessarily what is even. You have to determine what points you are going to go to battle over. Just don't lose sight of what is important to you during the process. Remember that you need to do what is best for you, not what inflicts the most pain on your ex.
Third, be careful what you say. It is easy to badmouth your ex, but this can set a negative atmosphere around the divorce. This is especially damaging if you have children since you will have to deal with each other for the long term.
Ultimately, your goal is to have a resolution that puts you on the best footing possible for your new life. Keep your eye on the future and not the past.