Emotions during divorce can vary greatly
The decision to divorce usually isn’t made overnight. Instead, it is something that at least one spouse has thought about for a long time before they took the step to file the paperwork. While the filing starts the legal process, there is an emotional process that has already begun.
For some people, the emotional impact of the divorce is much more difficult than the legal side of the matter. Being emotionally overwhelmed might make the legal matter seem frighteningly complex and stressful. Learning how to handle these emotions can be beneficial.
The person who initiates the divorce
Many couples arrive at the decision to divorce mutually. It’s a two-way street where both spouses are on the same page and perhaps have been for a while.
However, often this is not how a marriage breaks up. The person who initiates the divorce has had time to think about what life will be like when the marriage is over. They’ve had time to process their grief. They’ve been able to start creating an after-divorce plan. All of these can put them in a better place emotionally than the other party, but this doesn’t mean that it is going to be an easy transition for them.
Person who did not initiate the divorce
The person who didn’t initiate the divorce hasn’t had the time to come to terms with it like the one who pulled the trigger. Even if they have been thinking about it, they probably didn’t go through the mourning and the planning. The shock of the situation can make things seem more intense because of the sudden nature of it. Realizing the marriage is really over is one of the first things that you need to do to help yourself.
Working through the emotions
No matter which side of the matter you are on, you need to work to deal with the emotions you will face. It might be tempting to push these aside, but doing so can be harmful because they begin to build up and can become much more difficult to deal with later. You should also be prepared for swift changes in emotions, especially in the initial year when you are going through all the new firsts, such as the first holiday season and birthday.
One thing that you can do to reduce the stress that you have because of the divorce is to learn your rights and options. Being prepared for the legal process can help you considerably. Plus, it will give you time to think about what choices you want to make.
