Making the decision to divorce isn’t necessarily easy

The decision to divorce isn’t made easily. Instead, there is usually a lot of thought that goes into such a major change. When you are determining if this is the right choice for your situation, you need to take several variables into account.

It isn’t always clear if you will be better off as a single person. Asking yourself these questions might help you to make your choice:

Why am I staying?

Think very carefully about why you are staying in the marriage if you are unhappy. If you find yourself citing the children or other family members as the reason, you need to take a hard look at the relationship. You should only stay in the marriage if you are doing it because you and your spouse still love each other and are actively working on improving the relationship. If the love isn’t there any longer, a divorce might be in your best interests.

Are my needs being met?

Consider your needs and whether they are being met. If they are all being met, including the emotional, mental and physical, you might not need to go through with the divorce. If these needs aren’t being met, getting a divorce and being able to fend for yourself could help you to thrive.

Is single life appealing?

If you find yourself dreaming about what life would be like if you were single, a divorce may be in order. You should evaluate why you feel like this. Are you tired of your spouse telling you what to do or having to worry about what he or she is going to think of you if you do certain things? As you think about this, remember that a marriage is partnership, so some teamwork and consideration is necessary.

Are you being abused or belittled?

Being abused or belittled are good reasons to walk away from a marriage. While physical abuse is one of the most obvious forms of abuse, you also need to think about emotional, mental and financial abuse. Spouses who are too controlling, who purposefully says things that hurt you or who don’t share control of the money are abusive.

Do you still have a connection with your spouse?

The lack of connection between spouses can make a marriage almost impossible to save. If you and your spouse still love each other but just aren’t connected like you want to be, you might try marriage counseling. If the situation has moved beyond that, divorce could be the answer you need.