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Help your children adjust to living in two homes

One of the most difficult things for children to adjust to when their parents get a divorce is learning to live in two homes. It is important that you give your children what they need so that they can be comfortable in your home.

Consider these tips to help you find ways to help your child adjust to life in two homes.

Set the rules clearly from the start

It is all too easy to think that you need to make things as easy as possible for your child when the divorce is still new. This is understandable. However, you need to set the major rules of your house clearly from the start. You might find it very difficult to enforce rules when you let the child get away with breaking them for the first few days or weeks after the split.

Give your children space

If possible, give your children their own space at your home. This could be their own room if there is space for that. It could even be a special drawer that is just for them. If your children need to share a room, letting them each have their own dresser and bed might help.

Keep a routine when your child is with you

Children thrive on routines. Find a routine that works for your home and stick to it. Younger children might need some parts of the routine, such as bedtime, to remain consistent between the two homes.

Don’t expect your children to act like adults

During a divorce, parents sometimes begin to treat the children like adults. Even when it is tempting to do so, such as if you have older children, you shouldn’t pull them into the divorce matters. Don’t demean your ex to them and don’t expect that they will act as a spy when they go to the other parent’s home. Remember, your child didn’t ask for the divorce so your focus needs to be helping your child to feel loved and secure in the new situation.

Minimize the stress of transition days

Transition days are hard for some children. You can minimize the stress by making sure the child knows when the day is going to happen. Keeping a calendar on the wall of your home that is marked with the child custody schedule might help your child. Additionally, it could help if you arrange to have the parent who currently has the child drop him or her off to the other parent.

Related Posts: Know the benefits of shared parenting, Important child custody points in Maryland, Remember your child’s rights during child custody, Establish a parenting relationship during divorce, Respect in co-parenting is beneficial for everyone involved,
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