Parenting your children after a divorce isn’t easy at all. Some parents fall into a negative mode of thinking that makes it much more difficult than it has to be. Changing your frame of mind into one that is positive and embraces the change is one of the best things that you can do for yourself and your children.
When you make up your mind to work with your ex and put your differences aside, you are sending a message to your children and your ex that you are still a team despite the changes that have occurred. This is a big step in the right direction. It isn’t always going to work perfectly, but your positive attitude will likely be infectious and help others involved in the situation to also be positive.
Another thing that your positivity about the situation can do is to let your children know that they can love both parents. When the split first occurs, there might be some concerns from them about what the new way of life is going to be. By showing them that there aren’t hard feelings between their parents, they might feel more secure and come to realize that they don’t have to choose sides.
You should try to be as honest as possible with your children. This doesn’t mean that you let them know the gritty details about what’s going on. It simply means that you aren’t offering false hopes to them. Be open about the way the schedule will work now. Don’t leave any room for them to think that you and your ex will get back together if that isn’t truly a possibility.
The goal right now is to help them thrive in the situation as it stands. Your parenting plan should address this goal and set the framework for success.