Breaking the news that you are divorcing to the children is probably going to be difficult. It is hard for children to understand that life as they’ve always known it is changing in such a dramatic way. Trying to find ways to help them adjust can provide them with the support they need to thrive despite this upheaval.
One way that you can support them is by understanding why this is so difficult for them. No matter how old the children are, they likely feel some anxiety about what’s going to happen. You and your ex can try to work out a parenting plan as soon as possible. This sets the foundation for the children to have a consistent schedule, which lets them know what they can expect.
Another issue that might come up when you let them know about the divorce is that they might internalize the divorce. They may think that they are to blame for their parents splitting up. You and your ex should assure them that the decision to end the marriage was made by the adults and that they didn’t have a part in that. You might have to reassure them of this often.
Your children might have trouble adjusting to a life that spans two homes. This is understandable, but you can help them to transition better between homes. Allow them to voice their feelings. You might find that specific aspects of the transitions are frustrating them. Addressing these may help them to feel better about the divorce and their new way of life.