Your children might have an idea that you and their other parent aren’t getting along well. For some, the announcement that parents are going to divorce isn’t a shock, but it isn’t easy to hear either. When you are ready to tell your children about the divorce, you need to be sure that you are prepared for what’s to come.
Children are inquisitive, and they might want to know more about what led to the divorce and what is going to happen now. When it comes to letting them know what happened, you should think about what is appropriate for them to know. Part of this has to do with how old and mature they are.
One thing that you must do is reassure them that they aren’t the cause of the divorce. No child should ever feel that they caused their parents to split up. You also need to reassure them that they can’t do anything to bring the marriage back together. Some kids falsely think that they can behave in a certain manner, and their parents will reconcile.
If it is possible, you and your ex should talk to the kids together. This ensures everyone is getting the same information. It can make it easier as time goes on since the kids know that you and your ex are a true parenting team.
Try to let the kids know what is coming in the future. Don’t make promises that you can’t keep, but try to give them an idea about what the schedule will be like, so they can be assured that they will have time with both parents.
Having at least a rough draft of the parenting plan might help you when you talk to the kids. This can also be the outline you use for the permanent agreement.