End-of-marriage issues shouldn’t overshadow child custody matters

The emotions that come with a divorce can leave you feeling resentful toward your spouse. While this might not be an issue if you don’t have children, you will soon find that you have to deal with these feelings if you have a child custody agreement. Letting these end-of-marriage issues become a burden on the parenting relationship can be detrimental to your children.

There should be a level of respect between co-parents that prevents either one from badmouthing the other. Unfortunately, this might not be the case because some adults simply aren’t able to put the past behind them and move forward with having a positive relationship.

When your ex begins to say negative things about you, the situation can deteriorate rapidly. Having to deal with this can traumatic. You want to protect your children from what’s going on. At the same time, you need to address the issue so that it doesn’t continue to get worse.

One thing that you need to do is to avoid letting this type of behavior get to you emotionally. Try to take a step back and look at things from the outside. This detachment might give you a chance to evaluate the situation to determine what you need to do.

If your children are aware of what is going on, you will have to address the matter with them. You can discuss how some people who are hurting emotionally might say things that they shouldn’t and that this is sometimes filled with untruths. Be careful that you don’t start to badmouth your ex in the process.

It is a good idea to have terms put in the parenting plan that state no badmouthing will be tolerated. Ideally, there will be something in the plan that states how you should alert the other parent to the issue. Ensure you aren’t doing this in a combative manner. Otherwise, you might be contributing to a serious problem that can fester and make your co-parenting relationship even more difficult.